Networking Is Not a Verb – It’s a Lifestyle, Expert Says

Networking can and should be a key part of a travel sellers’ business. But there’s a right way and a wrong way to go about it.

Networking is not “a verb, it’s a lifestyle,” according to Thom Singer, a branding and networking expert and the author of several books including Some Assembly Required: How to Make, Grow and Keep your Business Relationships.

Developing long-term, mutually beneficial relationships is the key to networking, Singer told Travel Market Report. Don’t lead with a sales pitch when you meet someone the first time. Instead get people to talk about themselves. “No one cares about you until you care about them,” he said.
 
How do you define networking?
Singer: Ask 10 people for a definition of networking and you’ll get 10 different answers. Networking is the creation of long-term and mutually beneficial relationships between two or more people when everyone in the relationship succeeds more from being in it, than out of it.

The key is “long-term and mutually beneficial.” You can’t just show up when you’re in need, for example, when you’ve been laid off and you want to find another job. Networking is not a verb; it’s a lifestyle.

How important is networking to travel sellers?
Singer:  With the Internet there’s this idea that you don’t need a travel agent. Not only do agents make things easier for clients but they take care of them in many ways. The only way people will get this is if you tell them.

Elements like price are important and people will go with the cheaper commodity. But service is not a commodity. At the end of the day if the agent or the tour company has the experience and will be there to take care of things if they go wrong, people will pay to go with someone they trust.

What’s the best way to network?
Singer: A lot of time and money is spent teaching people how to create the three- to five-sentence elevator pitch about yourself. That’s important but you don’t want to go into a sales pitch the first time you meet someone. A lot of people push, push, push until they’re hated; they’re hungry and the whole thing is about them.

No one cares about you until you care about them. Get people to talk about themselves. Ask questions that open them up. Look them in the eye and listen without constantly thinking of what you’re going to do next. They will like you. And the more you get someone to talk about themselves the better you will know if there’s a reason to cultivate that person.

You’ve said networking involves emotional connections. What do you mean?
Singer:  It comes down to the old cliché: People do business with people they know, like and trust. Those are emotional things.

Something weird has happened in the last five years though. The definition of “know” has changed. It used to mean a process. “Know” has now come to mean “I know of them.” And there’s no like or trust that comes with that.

Is social media responsible for that?
Singer:  People have to remember that a ‘like,’ a ‘link’ or a ‘share’ do not equal a relationship. They link to everyone they meet and a few years later they don’t remember who those people are. It’s like having a phone book full of strangers.

I have a policy of sharing a coffee, a beer or a meal with someone—or the digital equivalent if we can’t meet in person.  The equivalent means emailing back and forth or phone calls or Skype.  It has to be something that will trigger my memory about that person. This applies to Facebook and LinkedIn. Twitter is a different animal; you can follow whoever you want.

So what role does social media play in networking?
Singer:  It’s a tool for cultivating a relationship but you need the face to face. An initial contact doesn’t have to be that face to face and people use social media to connect. But it’s like dating; you don’t find too many people who marry who haven’t met face to face. It’s shared experiences that matter. Business is no different.

How do you find opportunities for networking?
Singer:  Find out where your clients are, where referral sources in your industry are and where your competitors are. If your competitors are out there and you’re not, you’re giving them business.

If you do a lot of local business you need to get involved in local groups like the Chamber of Commerce. If you’re with a national business you have to work a little bit harder.

Attend conferences, do a lot more phone time, Skype or Google Plus. I meet people at conferences, then schedule a Skype talk with them. It’s not as good as being in the same room but it’s better than an email.

Do you have a goal for a networking event?
Singer:  Every day I meet three to five people because not everyone you meet can be a connection. Meeting strangers is a skill. Once you start doing it, it gets easier. It doesn’t matter if you are an introvert or an extrovert. Anyone can do it.