Testing the Waters with Dori: The Galapagos, Nat Geo, and the Art of Traveling with Aging Parents (and an Overprotective Daughter)

“We’re here,” my mom sighed, fumbling with her smart phone to try and get a photo of a massive green sea turtle that was swimming alongside the pier. We had just arrived on San Cristobal Island, ready for the start of a one-week Galapagos cruise onboard National Geographic-Lindblad Expeditions’ National Geographic Endeavour II.

It was a bucket list birthday trip for my mother who will be turning 80 in January.

Along with myself and my mom were my sister and father, the original four – or the OG family as I’d taken to calling us. It was the first time in at least 25 years since we’d vacationed together, just the four of us, and probably the last time we ever will.

(In regard to leaving the husbands and kiddo behind, when my sister started first started posting photos from the trip on Instagram, my 16-year-old niece commented, “It’s giving middle school teenage girls leaving out their friends.”)

But back to the pier and that beautiful sea turtle.

It was an auspicious start to our trip, the turtle and some sea lions on the shore, waiting to welcome us to the Galapagos. Sadly, my mom wasn’t able to capture any photos. By the time she’d pulled up the camera app on her phone and steadied her hands to snap a pic, the turtle had returned to the ocean’s depths. A few minutes later when it resurfaced, she tried again – and missed the shot, again. Eventually, after repeating this cycle a couple more times, she stopped trying.  

In many ways this would prove to be our trip in a nutshell. We’d see everything we came to see. We’d do it as the original nuclear family I grew up with, making memories we’ll each hold on to.

But there’d be plenty of fumbling.

Like when I instructed my parents to take front-of-the bus seats on the transfer to the pier from the airport. Or when I asked my mom to skip a morning stretch session to get extra rest. Or when my sister and I heard the expedition team say one thing about the next day’s activities and my parents heard something entirely different. (I’ll put heard in finger quotes here, since my parents don’t always hear anything!)

It wasn’t until we – and by we, I pretty much mean me – managed to (mostly) find a balance between taking on a more parental role and our parents – mostly my mother – resenting it.

Traveling with aging parents isn’t easy – even when there are no serious aging-related issues to deal with. Cruising makes it simpler in so many ways, but it’s still not easy.

This would be the first trip my sister had taken with my parents that she didn’t have a husband and child to distract her. I’ve traveled with each of my parents solo before. My last trip with my mom, she had a medical event that debilitated her for a period requiring the use of a wheelchair at the airport and left me – apparently – overprotective. She would call it overbearing. (In fact, I’m sure she did call it that out of my ear shot.)

Finding the right balance is important. My parents are mobile, have most of their wits about them (I mean every almost 80-year-old forgets things, right?), and are very independent. They travel frequently on their own so it’s not like they need me to be their tour guide. (With that said, the number of questions my dad asked me leading up to the cruise made me sympathize with every travel advisor out there with needy clients. No, dad, I don’t know how often planes arrive late in Panama City.)

Anyway, me ordering a wheelchair for my mom at the airports was apparently a step too far.

Thankfully, National Geographic Endeavour II is an easy ship to get around, so I really didn’t have to worry about my parents on the ship. And our waiter, who adopted us as his guests by day two, and the restaurant manager had my mom’s dietary needs front of mind at every meal, so I could let them worry about it.

Getting in and out of the Zodiacs was also easy for both my parents and most of the hikes were doable. On hikes that had any level of difficulty (like the first hike of the sailing during which three other passengers fell), they both used walking sticks and either my sister or I positioned ourselves near them to lend a hand as needed. (That offer of help was okay, by the way, particularly by my father who isn’t resentful about the aging process.)

In the end, we found a balance – or said another way, I backed off – and we all walked away grateful for the time we got to spend together, backdropped by the spectacular nature of the Galapagos, and taken care of by the excellent Lindblad Expeditions crew.

Anyone who works in the travel industry knows, travel is about making memories. It’s about the special moments in special places that bring family and friends back together without the distraction of everyday life. It’s holding out your hand to help your dad get through a rocky patch of trailway or admiring the photo your mom took of the sunset over the Pacific Ocean. It’s about sharing a smile with your sister as your mom and dad hold hands sitting next to each other on the Zodiac.

It’s also about getting to say (at least in your head), “I told you so,” when your mom does end up overdoing it and has to skip all the last day’s onshore activities because she wouldn’t listen when you told her to skip early morning stretch classes and get some extra rest instead.

I’d love to hear about the special moments you’ve shared with your family while traveling. Feel free to email me at dsaltzman@travelmarketreport.com.

(National Geographic-Lindblad Expeditions hosted one cabin and provided a discount on the second to help make this special trip happen.)